18 Golden Destroyers 1985 Review: It’s mental

The 18 Legendary Bronzeman of Shaolin are unearthed after a long slumber by an evil monk. They are ready to take on the modern world, but is the world ready for them? Some things don’t die quietly.

Where do I start?!? 18 Golden Destroyers(Thap Bat Dong Nhan) is just pure ‘bad cinema’ gold. Opening with a scene from one movie set in traditional China with the great Casanova Wong taking on about 40 men. The film would have you think you think you’re in for a treat before quickly switching to another film. A Thai movie called, The Hunt For The Golden Man. And this is where the fun begins…

The plot involves a temple in Hong Kong that can reincarnate Shaolin monks into gold “robots” that do the temples dirty work. An evil monk steals the Golden Destroyers and takes them to Thailand where he plans on using them to extract gold from a mine and then take over the country!

It’s mental!!

With silly acting, panto costumes, and a temple master who has white carpet stuck on his face for eyebrows and a moustache, you can’t help but constantly laugh. But for me, it is the ridiculously uninspired and badly choreographed fight scenes that make this such a fun watch. While some of the actors can move, the timing and editing are horrendous which only makes for some hilarious scenes.

And while I’m on hilarious scenes – the one where our hero helps a girl down from the rocks and waterfalls is laugh-out-loud funny as their real falls are just left in but the dubbing ignores what actually is happening.

Another scene involves the Golden Destroyers attacking a village in a zombie-like fashion, killing off the locals for no reason with one little girl being able to escape through the legs of one. Angered, the golden zombie climbs into the nearest pig sty and grabs a piglet – for no reason!

And it just gets more mental from there…

The film claims to be have been directed by a Gordon Chan. Now if we were to believe that, and it was the same Gordon Chan who gave us HK hits such as Fight Back To School; Fist of Legend; Thunderbolt and many more – then this would be his first as a director. But I don’t believe it was..This has Godfrey Ho all over it!

Overall: 18 Golden Destroyers (phim hong kong vo thuat xua) is just plain bad. But if you need a laugh and love bad films then this is for you!

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